Thursday, October 30, 2008

The List


1. Get Christian off to school. Check
2. Do laundry. Check


3. Gifts for Visiting Teachees and contact partner. Check



4. Clean bedrooms and make beds.



Check


Check


Check

5. Get a batch of clothes ready for eBay. Check
6. Get Parker off to school. Check

7. Wrap Brandon's birthday present. Check



8. More laundry. Check



9. Read to Ella. Check
10. Put Ella down for a nap. Check
11. Make game and treats for the 3rd grade Halloween party. Check

12. Make pumpkin cheesecake muffins to take to Landlord with rent. Check






13. Call Discovery Toys hostess'. Check
14. Pick up the children from the Primary Activity at church. Check
15. Go to the grocery store. Check



16. Bake and eat jack-o-lantern pizza. Check






17. Do homework. Check

18. Carve jack-o-lanterns. Check





Look it's my Minnie! Thank you Daddy!


19. Update blog. Check

20. GO TO BED! Check

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Box



There is a box that sits in the top of my closet. This is a special box and it has only been opened 3 times. In this box are tiny things. Tiny things for a tiny baby that were never worn or used. It is my grievance box.

3 years ago today at 4:25 am after 12.5 hours of induced labor I delivered a tiny baby that passed away from an umbilical cord accident.

I never imagined that this could have happened to me. It's not something you would wish on your worst enemy.

As sad and devastating that this experience was it has been an opportunity for growth in my life.

I learned that we are never alone.


Honestly looking back I don't know how I got through that or made it through that experience. The only way I can explain it is that the Lord and angels had to be by my side. I will never be able to explain the feeling of peace that was in that delivery room that morning. I know that the Lord loves me and has a plan for me.

I have also experienced a huge increase of faith in my life.

Getting pregnant so quickly afterward was in many ways a blessing but also very difficult. Cord accidents are random and can happen to anyone. There were lots of days I was a complete basket case with Ella. Towards the end of my pregnancy I finally had to turn it over to the Lord and exercise my faith in him. I have had to learn to trust in God's will, trust in His way of doing things, and trust in His timetable.

I have learned that many important things will occur in our lives that we have not planned, and not all of them will be welcome. Even our most righteous desires may elude us or come in different ways or at a different time than we have planned. Faith and trust in the Lord gives us the strength to accept and persist, whatever happens in our lives. I do not know why my baby had to die. All I know is that is was His will and He gave me strength to accept it. 32 days later I was pregnant again and I know that this was also the Lord's will.


I am comforted by something Richard G. Scott said,

"The challenges you face, the growth experiences you encounter, are intended to be temporary scenes played out on the stage of a life of continuing peace and happiness. Sadness, heartache, and disappointment are events in life. It is not intended that they be the substance of life. I do not minimize how hard some of these events can be. When the lesson you are to learn is very important, trials can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining focus of everything you do. Your life can and should be wondrously rewarding. It is your understanding and application of the laws of God that will give your life glorious purpose as you ascend and conquer the difficulties of life. That perspective keeps challenges confined to their proper place—stepping-stones to further growth and attainment."


This statement hit me pretty hard because this has been on my mind for quite some time now. Not the quote, but the contents of the quote. I have been trying to put into words these feelings and then this quote came along and it describes very beautifully how I feel.These words apply to everyone no matter what challenges they are facing. This just happens to be the most challenging trial I hope to ever have to face.


It is MY choice to be happy. It is MY choice to seek out the JOY in life and accept that there IS indeed good along with the bad. There IS joy right along with the sorrow... and it IS okay to acknowledge those joys even in tumultuous times. It is MY choice to be grateful that my baby is and always will be a part of me. THAT is joyous.




I have learned to have gratitude for tribulations.



"Tribulations are frightening. And yet the Lord said: 'Be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours." 'And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious' (D&C 59:7)."The kind of gratitude that receives even tribulations with thanksgiving requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit, humility to accept that which we cannot change, willingness to turn everything over to the Lord--even when we do not understand, thankfulness for hidden opportunities yet to be revealed. Then comes a sense of peace. "When was the last time you thanked the Lord for a trial or tribulation? Adversity compels us to go to our knees; does gratitude for adversity do that as well?" President David O. McKay observed, 'We find in the bitter chill of adversity the real test of our gratitude . . . , which . . . goes beneath the surface of life, whether sad or joyous' (Pathways to Happiness, comp. Llewelyn R. McKay [1957], 318)." Bonnie D. Parkin, "Gratitude: A Path to Happiness," Ensign, May 2007, 35 36


On that morning three years ago I gained a greater understanding of the atonement of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, a greater love for my eternal companion Brandon, and my children became much more precious to me.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Rites

rite [rahyt]
–noun
1. any customary observance or practice.


When Brandon and I got married we received some really good counsel. We were encouraged, from the beginning, to establish some rites for our family.
Often when we hear rite we think of a ceremony or a "rite of passage, but rites can be things you as a family do over and over, traditions or rituals. Rites can be elaborate or simple such as family prayer every night or family home evening every Monday. Rites can be things that are special or unique to your family. Brandon and I really took this counsel to heart and from our first day of marriage we started establishing some rites for our little family.

I've been thinking some about this today. Has this made an influence for good in my family? You bet! My favorite rites are the things we do around holidays.

Every fall we go to the same pumpkin patch and on the same hayride.





And

Every Christmas eve we open 1 present. They are always new holiday pajamas. Even Brandon and I get some. We have done this since our first Christmas together.




And



Every year each child picks one new Christmas ornament. We also get one new family ornament. This goes on our "memory tree." We have trees I put up that have matching decorations but our memory tree is our big family tree and on it are the children's precious handmade ornaments, many with their photos, their special ornament from each year of their life, ornaments from special vacations, our "first" ornaments, first Christmas together, first home, baby's first Christmas. . . Our memory tree even has ornaments from my grandmother's tree. Nothing on this tree matches BUT every year I wonder if there could be a more beautiful on the earth. Someday when my children are grown they will take their box of ornaments with them to start their own memory tree.

Even birthdays have rites at the Parish house.



Our children have come to count on many of these things. We have made some very special memories that will last a lifetime. Sometimes life gets really hectic but all these family rites and rituals put all of the other stuff in balance.

Monday, October 27, 2008

What do you do on Sunday evening?



We burn big evil looking pumpkins with our friends.

Carving the pumpkin.





The big boys enjoying the flame.



The little boys were in heaven!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Finding The Great Pumpkin



We made our annual trip to Day Farms for our pumpkins last week. This has been a family tradition since 2002. We tried to go 2 weeks ago but it ended up snowing. The weather turned out to be beautiful and we even convinced our good friends come along. The best part was, they took pitty on our homelessness in Ogden and had us over for some impromptu pizza and playing for the kids. :)






Friday, October 24, 2008

Cousins



Aren't cousins the best? Some of my best memories growing up are with my cousins. My children are blessed to have cousins about their age that live close by. I took care of Jack and Kenley while my sister worked when they were both less than a month old. My how time flys! They are like siblings to my children. Well, better than siblings because they go home to their own house. :)






Children of the corn!



And just about every room in the house ends up looking like this after a weekend with the cousins. But, if everyone's happy no harm right?


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Adventures in potty training


Today my beautiful just turned 2 daughter handed me a piece of poo very carefully wrapped, just like a present, in a clean washcloth. She was very proud of herself. Good thing she's cute. According to my mother, she is what is commonly referred to as "payback." The truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way. Admit it. You're jealous!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Finding Joy in the Journey

I took the opportunity to listen to all 4 session of our most recent LDS General Conference. The talk that spoke to me was President Monson's in the Sunday Morning session. What great wisdom. Here are some of my highlights.

Finding Joy in the Journey
President Thomas S. Monson

Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. At one time or another we’ve all heard some form of the familiar adage: “Nothing is as constant as change.”


Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly. Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes.


This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.


In the The Music Man. Professor Harold Hill, one of the principal characters in the show, voices a caution that I share with you. Says he, “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”


My brothers and sisters, there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today.
If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.


If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.


Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.


Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”


Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.


In the book of John in the New Testament, chapter 13, verse 34, the Savior admonishes us, “As I have loved you, . . . love one another.”


Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.


Said one well-known author: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of I; illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”



In the Doctrine and Covenants, section 88, verse 33, we are told: “For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.”


The ancient Roman philosopher Horace admonished, “Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand, nor postpone your joys from year to year, so that in whatever place you have been, you may say that you have lived happily.”


In First Thessalonians in the New Testament, chapter 5, verse 18, we are told by the Apostle Paul, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God.”


Recall with me the account of the 10 lepers:


“And as [Jesus] entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off:
“And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.
“And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.
“And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,
“And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.
“And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?
“There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger.”
Said the Lord in a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith, “In nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.” May we be found among those who give our thanks to our Heavenly Father. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.


Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed.


I pray that all of us will reflect gratitude for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. His glorious gospel provides answers to life’s greatest questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where does my spirit go when I die?


He taught us how to pray. He taught us how to serve. He taught us how to live. His life is a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved.


The time came when He stood alone. Some Apostles doubted; one betrayed Him. The Roman soldiers pierced His side. The angry mob took His life. There yet rings from Golgotha’s hill His compassionate words, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”



Earlier, perhaps perceiving the culmination of His earthly mission, He spoke the lament, “Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.” “No room in the inn” was not a singular expression of rejection—just the first. Yet He invites you and me to receive Him. “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”
Who was this Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief? Who is the King of glory, this Lord of hosts? He is our Master. He is our Savior. He is the Son of God. He is the Author of our Salvation. He beckons, “Follow me.” He instructs, “Go, and do thou likewise.” He pleads, “Keep my commandments.”
Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude.