A night in Paris

A couple people have asked me how my “French” date went.  I’m not usually one to advertise the details of my relationship and I rarely kiss and tell but I decided to document this date and share some of the details.  If you don’t know Brandon and I well, this is our 20^th year together and 15^th year of marriage.  We celebrate our 15^th wedding anniversary in Sept.  Our relationship has always been kind of an oddity.  We get along really well, too well if you ask some people.  If you are not someone blessed to know my husband, I’m sorry.  He is one of the kindest, most patient, charitable people I know.  I still remember the talk President Hinckley gave a few years back about he and Marjory.  At least I know we are not the only spouses that have ever lived on this earth that don’t fight.   I posted more about that here.  And that post is actually the last time I posted much about our relationship.  We have had our share of life troubles. Brandon was sick for 4 years, we have had financial difficulties, we‘ve had a still born baby and several miscarriages. Through it all we’ve just gotten closer and relationship has become stronger. Honestly, happiness feels like such a hollow word next to what it's like with Brandon.   

I think effort plays a huge roll in successful marriages, probably the biggest roll. But honestly it doesn’t feel like we put that much effort into our marriage. It is so second nature it just happens. We both are constantly putting each other first. I don’t think either of us thinks about ourselves anymore and because of this the other person is happy and gets everything they ever wanted and more. With us it has always just happened like this.  We started doing stuff like the French date we had this weekend regularly about last summer. It seemed that marriages all around us were falling apart.  Currently I know of 8 people with either a rocky marriage or currently going through a divorce.  Although our marriage has always been very strong and we have always been very happy and in love I decided I wanted to affair proof/"fireproof" our marriage.  Plus, we've always had fun dating each other. 

 I was sitting in my kids' swimming lesson one day and thought I should do something really fun for him. So we spent the day buying up all his favorite candy bars and I took them to the florist and they made them into a candy bouquet. I wrote a flirty ;) note to go with it and delivered it to his work for a fun surprise when he got back from his FedEx route. He was teased by the guys and ubber surprised but it totally made his day. In fact that day about 3 bad things had happened that I didn't know about. For the first time he had a student fail a check ride with the FAA examiner. He had been 100% with all his students for 3 years and this reflects negatively on him as a flight instructor. He had a major issue at FedEx. And the biggest blow was someone who he thought was his close friend told him they didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Basically this person had been doing some things they shouldn't and Brandon found out and although Brandon had not done anything this person decided to take out a lot on him because they were upset about their own actions and being found out. He was pretty beaten down that day and my one act turned things around. It brings tears to my eyes because I didn't know how badly he was hurting that day. After that I started doing a fun surprise tied to a date or time spent with him once a month. We spend a lot more time together than that, but at least once a month I decided to make a pretty serious effort with surprises, etc. A couple of months ago I found a great website with lots of ideas for wives. romaticmarriages.com. I use some of their ideas with twists of my own. I think it's as much fun for me as it is for him!

Romantic Marriages was started by 4 women who saw a need in their own lives and wanted to help others.   Everything on the site is in tune with LDS standards.  They’ve done a lot of research and their site is based on a couple of things, novelty and the 4 A’s.

"First creating new experiences with your spouse actually activates your brain’s reward system.  This floods your brain with Dopamine norepinephrine, the feel good chemicals.  We need to find ways to introduce novelty into a long term relationship because just spending time together doesn’t do it.  You have to do something different.  Those old brain circuits can feel new again just like they did during early romantic love just by being a little innovative." 

Second, men need what the wives at Romantic Marriage call the 4 A’s:

Appreciation

1. Regular expressions of gratitude for your husband
2.  Recognizing and voicing your man’s qualities
3.  Verbally valuing him.

 Attention

1.  Giving serious consideration to your man’s opinions and preferences
2.  Notice and show interest in all that is HIM; his hobbies, his interests, his goals.
3.  Being nurturing when he shows his vulnerable side.

 Admiration

1.  Share with him the positive ways in which you regard him.
2.  Share with others (his boss, your children, others) his positive qualities.
3.  Brag about and flirt with him in the presence of others.

 “Physical” Affection

1.  Initiate physical contact and intimacy
2.  Initiate physical contact and intimacy
3. Initiate physical contact and intimacy

You’re wondering, Steph what did you do for your date?

So I decided since I couldn’t take him to Paris I would bring Paris to him!  To start the week off right, on Monday I took him his invitation for the date.  I added some extra touches like spraying it with my perfume and sealing it with a kiss.  I stopped at the florist and bought a long stemmed rose.  I put it on his car at work for a surprise.  The invite went something like this:

A date in Paris for Two

So our romance can renew.

We’ll see the sites.

Enjoy French bites

Then French kisses

I’ll be sharing Avec vous!

He still has the card and envelope in the car because it makes his whole car smell like me.  J

Each day during the week I left him little surprises in places he would find them at work.  For a couple days I printed French postcards online and even made the place for the little French postage paid stamp.  I wrote things to him in French like what a great father he is.  He had fun trying to translate his messages.

I toyed around with cooking French food and having a quiet candlelight dinner at home but that wouldn’t be able to take place until after the kids were in bed.  So dinner after 9pm.  Boo.  Plus the kids would wonder what I was cooking and I would have to share some of our good special food with them.  Apparently I am a mean mommy because we prepared them a dinner of fish sticks, fries and a vegetable and Brandon and I went to town.  Thanks to my friend Moncia, we went to The Crepery in Logan.  It is this adorable little crepe and coffee shop inside a 100+ year old house in downtown Logan.  It is also an art gallery.  We sat at a little bistro table and enjoyed crepes.  My crepe had fresh arugula, chicken and artichoke hearts.  Brandon’s had sun dried tomatoes and pesto and cheese.  We shared a yummy dessert crepe with strawberries, cheesecake filling and chocolate! 

On our way home Brandon stopped and got me movie popcorn from the theater with extra butter.  He KNOWS how much I LOVE movie popcorn!!!!

We got the kids in bed and watched a newer movie -  Midnight in Paris.  It was meh... But it really showed the sites in Paris.  What a romantic place!

To finish the evening, since I couldn’t take him to see the Eiffel  Tower in real life we built our own tower using a Jenga game and played a little game of Jenga with a grown-up twist.  ;)

The total cost for this date including my surprise popcorn was $33.48.  A good investment in our relationship if you ask me!  It was a great night I can't wait to start planning my next date!

Holy Diapers!

I got the most amazing package in the mail today! It was the rest of my Nifty Nappy stash from Vilate Thacker. She is the amazing work at home mom behind Nifty Nappy Diapers. Many of these were custom made from knits I sent her. I discovered her diapers almost exactly a year ago. We love them! I know some of you might make fun of me because I use cloth but hey I'm saving lots of money and my baby is cute and comfortable!

Check out all my cute prints!

Bugs, Zoo Animals, Giraffes, Owls and Ooga Boogas!

Cars, Race Cars, Trains, Boats, Construction Vehicles and Baseballs!

Jack Skelington, Trick or Treaters, Rock Star Skulls, Argyle, Strips and Dinos!

With Daddy a pilot, Airplane diapers are a must!

Airplane diaper #5!  Daddy would love to move to Alaska where his brothers spent their early years while their dad was in the air force.

We even have a toy soldier  Diaper!

Arrhhggg!  A Pirate's of the Caribbean Diaper!

Everybody wants to be a rock star!

 Who can resist cute animals and stripes?!

COWBOYS!!!

More pirates just showed up from a Nifty Nappy Cottage Licensee Amy at Amyzing Creations! 

Vintage War Planes from Amyzing Creations!  How cool is this print?!!!

A few more Nifty Nappy stash essentials - 2 swim diapers, 2 Heavy Doody night time diapers and a Woolie Wrap.

What a lucky baby I have!

More pillow talk with the Parish's

Where does he come up with this stuff?  This was our conversation last night.  It was too funny.

Brandon, “I’ve decided I’m going to observe lent this year.”

Me, “What?!  Ummm you’re a Mormon.  Lent is not something we generally observe but okay. Why?”

Brandon, “I want to have a big party.”

Me, “What?”

Brandon, “You know, like Fat Tuesday!  Mardi Gras!  Brazilian Carnival!  That sort of party!”

Me, “Uh why don’t you just have a party then?”

Brandon, “No I want to observe lent.”

Me, (Laughing uncontrollably at this point) “So what are you giving up for lent?”

Brandon, “I was thinking religion.”

Me, “I don’t think that’s the point.”

Me, (Face palm!)

A day of cloth diapering

So a while back I announced to the world that I use cloth diapers. You can read more about that HERE.  We do occationally use disposables.  I know people think I'm crazy but there's really nothing crazy about it.  Even Brandon has found cloth to be just as easy, and less stinky and he likes not having as much trash to haul out.  To show you how adorable and easy cloth is here is a day in cloth at our house.  I tried to use as many different kinds of diapers as I could to show just a few of the thousands of choices that are available in the modern cloth diapering world.  Click on the pictures to make them bigger.

Change #1:  Here we have a Nifty Nappy Fitted diaper.  Fitted diapers are usually made of several layers of absorbant materials like hemp, bamboo or cotton.  They are not waterproof and require a cover.  Nifty Nappy fitteds also include an insert which absorbs a lot.  It is made from organic hemp fleece and organic bamboo velour.  The velour is a wicking material and is ubber soft.  The cover I have chosen for this change is a Flip cover which is part of another diapering system.  I use Flip for the cover only.  It is made of PUL which is a laminated polyester.  Both the diaper and cover are one size so they will grow with Tyler until he's about 35 lbs. 

Nifty Nappy also makes a pocket/All in 2 diaper that is waterproof and does not require a cover.   We have some of those too.  Inside the diaper is a hidden layer of PUL.  The insert is folded and sewn differently.

We love Nifty Nappies they are soft and absorbant and trim!  We have quite a few of them!  We actually have more since this picture was taken.  :)

While Vilate Thacker the mama behind Nifty Nappy is no longer selling her diapers through retailers you can purchase them from other sewing mamas who have purchased a cottage license from her to make and sell them.  Jeni at Red Barn Cloth Diapers makes the same Nifty Nappies everyone knows and loves.  You can check out her website here. 

Change #2:  Next up we have a Rump-a-Rooz pocket diaper in Ladder #6 print.  It is waterproof as it is made of TPU which is a laminated material similar to PUL.  Pocket diapers require an insert inside the pocket.  Pocket diapers are very quick to dry.   I have chosen a hemp insert.  Hemp is a very thirsty fabric and absorbs a lot more than cotton.  Touching baby's bottom is microchamois which is a stay dry fabric.  Also notice Rump-a-Rooz have inner leg gussets similar to disposables.  This Rump-a-rooz is also a one size diaper and will fit up to 35 lbs. 

You can check out Rumparooz here.

Change #3: Next up we have an All In One diaper from Blissful Booty.  AIO diapers are great because dads love them and so do daycare centers.  They have no inserts and no cover is needed.  They go on and off just like a disposable.   Blissful Booty diapers are made with a luxurious, stain resistant inner lining made of no-pill microfleece, that wicks moisture away from sensitive baby skin .  They have snug inner and outer leg casings for ultimate leak protection, soft, waterproof TPU cloth outer cover and a super absorbent microfiber terry inner soaker. This is a sized diaper so you would need to buy different sizes as baby grows.  In this picture Tyler is wearing a medium.  You can check out Blissful Booty here.

Change #4  Next we went outside to play in the pool.  Cloth swim diapers are super easy to use and save so much money. No more Little Swimmers for us!  This is a Nifty Nappy swim diaper in a size small.  Size small fits 7-25 lbs.  Jeni at Red Barn Diapers makes these too.

Change #5 After swimming we came in and put on a Bumgenius 4.0 one size pocket diaper in Aplix.  Aplix is an extra sticky hook and loop closure like velcro but stronger.  Because this is a pocket diaper it needs an insert stuffed into the center of it.  In this particular diaper I folded one of my Nifty Nappy hemp fleece/bamboo velour inserts.  Usually in my BG diapers I use an microfiber insert.  The outers of Bumgenius diapers are a waterproof PUL and besides hook and loop you can get them in a snapping closure.  The inside is made of a soft, sueded inner fabric that wicks moisture away from the baby's skin.  They are a great diaper.  They fit Tyler well.  NEVER leak and the tabs are even stretchy like a disposable!  They are a one size diaper and fit from 7-35+ lbs.  You can buy Bumgenius diapers here.

Here is a Bumgenius diaper in snap closure and a microfiber insert.

Change #6 Today many moms still use prefold diapers.  Many still even use flat diapers that you have to fold.  I do have some of these diapers too.  I don't mess with pins or other fastening devices. I simply fold the prefold diaper into thirds and lay it into a cover.  Most covers today fit baby like a wrap or a disposable diaper so the diaper can't slide like the they would do in the rubber pants of yesterday.  You had to pin them on your baby using the old school pull up covers. The cover I have chosen for this change is a Grovia shell.  This is actually part of and all-in-two diapering system but I just own the shell and use it for a cover because it has AIRPLANES!  You can buy prefolds lots of places.  They are a very inexpensive diapering option.  You can get good quality prefolds here or here or lots of other places.  To check out Grovia go here

Change #7  It's finally bedtime and most cloth diapering mamas know that it's hard to find a good night time solution that won't leak and baby will stay comfortable until morning.  With a breastfed baby that can be even trickier since breastfed babies generally are up nursing during the night.  I have found a quality fitted diaper with a wool cover works best for our night time diapering.  Here we have Tyler wearing a Sustainablebabyish bamboo fitted diaper.  These diapers are pretty popular right now.  In fact they are always on backorder. They are soft and beautiful, made entirely of organic bamboo|cotton fleece with the soft jersey side out. They have a snap in soakers and a 3-layer bamboo fleece doubler.  Paired with a wool cover they are bullet proof.  You can purchase Sustainablebabyish diapers here.

The cover for this change is a Nifty Nappy Woolie Wrap.  From Nifty Nappy's page: 


"The Woolie Wrap is a wool cloth diaper cover that you snap on instead of pull up. These are convenient for smaller babies. Also they will fit a wider range of babies. Paired with a Nifty Nappy™ they are practically bullet proof and leave the baby’s bum well ventilated!

• Two wool layers, double the protection!
• Inner layer of buttery soft 100% Organic Wool Interlock
• Outer layer of handpicked upcycled wool with 80%+ wool
• Hidden elastics for ultimate containment and comfort
• Overlapping front snap for custom fit
• One size will fit all your babies and toddlers
• Easy to care for and self cleaning
You can buy a Nifty Nappy Woolie Wrap from another one of Vilate's Cottage Licensees on Etsy here.

My very tired little man ready to get some sleep!

I hope this was a little bit educational and showed some of the many options available for today's families.  Some mothers use all of one kind of diaper system and some moms, like me, like a variety.  My favorite part of our cloth diapering journey is that it has been fun!  I love picking out new prints and Tyler is starting to like all the fun prints too!